Laughing for no reason is a sign of stupidity (Смех без причины - признак дурачины) – Common Russian proverb[1]
The best and most memorable way to think of the differences between Russian and America is that America is a “peach” culture and Russia is a “coconut” one. This analogy was created by two culture experts.[2] In peach cultures like the United States or Brazil people tend to be friendly (“soft”) with new acquaintances and strangers. They smile frequently at strangers, move quickly to first-name usage, share information about themselves, and ask personal questions of those they hardly know. Americans tend to be specific and emotional, which translates as enjoying other people, whereas Russians are diffuse and neutral, which translates into respect (esteem) of other people. Culturally speaking, America is like a peach with lots of easily accessible flesh or “public domain” on the outside but a tough, almost impenetrable stone at the core. In contrast, Russians are difficult to penetrate at first but all yours if and when you manage to drill your way through to their core. By the way, a little alcohol helps to lubricate the drill.[3] For a Russian, after a little friendly interaction with a peach, they may suddenly get to the hard shell of the pit where the peach protects his real self and the relationship suddenly stops.
In coconut cultures such as Russia and Germany, people are initially more closed off from those they do not have friendships with. They rarely smile at strangers, ask casual acquaintances personal questions, or offer personal information to those they don’t know intimately. But over time, as coconuts get to know you, they become gradually warmer and friendlier. And while relationships are built up slowly, they also tend to last longer.[4]
Coconuts may react to peaches in a couple of ways. Some interpret the friendliness as an offer of friendship and when people don’t follow through on the unintended offer, they conclude that the peaches are disingenuous or hypocritical. Many Russians see the American Smile as disingenuous and fake.
As an American, what should you do if you’re a peach fallen amongst coconuts?
- Be authentic; if you try to be someone you are not, it won’t work.
- Smile as much as you want and share as much information about your family as you wish.
- Just don’t ask personal questions of your counterparts until they bring up the subject themselves.
Advice for Russian coconuts
1. If an American:
- a. asks you how you are doing,
- b. shows you photos of their family or
- c. even invites you over for a barbecue
2. Do not interpret American friendliness as an:
- a. overture to develop a deep friendship or a
- b. cloak for some hidden agenda,
3. American friendliness is a different cultural norm expression which you need to adjust to.[4]
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Cultures such as America, Brazil and Japan[4][5]
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Cultures such as Russia, Germany, Poland and France[6]
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1. They smile frequently at strangers,
2. move quickly to first-name usage,
3. openly share information about themselves,
4. ask personal questions of those they hardly know.
5. After a little friendly interaction with a peach person, you may suddenly get to the hard shell of the pit where the peach protects his real self.
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1. Are initially more closed off from those they don’t have friendships with.
2. They rarely smile at strangers,
3. rarely ask casual acquaintances personal questions, or
4. do not offer personal information to those they don’t know intimately.
5. Over time, as coconuts get to know you, they become gradually warmer and friendlier.
6. While relationships are built up slowly, they also tend to last longer...[7]
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- ↑ Lugris, Mark. (June 13, 2018). Russian Workers Being Trained To Smile More Before The World Cup. https://www.thetravel.com/russia-teaches-workers-smile/
- ↑ Trompenaars, Fons., & Hampden-Turner, Charles. (1998). Riding the Waves of Culture: Understanding Diversity in Global Business, 2nd ed. McGraw Hill. 83–86.
- ↑ Riding the Waves of Culture. Exclusive Interview with Dr. Fons Trompenaars. https://mundus-international.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Swedish-Press-Mar-2018-Interview-Trompenaars-Williams.pdf
- ↑ 4.0 4.1 4.2 Meyer, Erin. (May 30, 2014). One Reason Cross-Cultural Small Talk Is So Tricky. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2014/05/one-reason-cross-cultural-small-talk-is-so-tricky
- ↑ Taras, Vas. (December, 2015). Peach vs. Coconut Cultures. https://x-culture.org/peach-vs-coconut-cultures/
- ↑ Lebowitz, Shana. (August, 2017). The 'coconut vs peach' metaphor explains why Americans find the French standoffish and the French find Americans superficial. Business Insider. https://www.businessinsider.com.au/why-french-people-find-americans-superficial-2017-8
- ↑ Meyer, Erin. (2014). The Culture Map: Breaking Through the Invisible Boundaries of Global Business. https://drive.google.com/open?id=1qoT-v2SDoSuj0VIXAmOpVxvvw4uUi5Vy (Full Book).
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